Zack Rovinsky (Obnysalt) - Writer

Zack is our resident asshole. Not that he’s a cynical guy, he was just the first to embrace the “asshole who hates everything” persona he’s got going on now. Think of him as our O.A., or Original Asshole, if you will. If a article makes you laugh manically or offends you to the point that you begin to question the mental stability of modern youth, it’s probably his doing. We love him, though. Don’t be fooled; he actually enjoys playing with kittens and mentoring needy children in his off time.

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Chris Holmes (Homez) - UK Editor Chris is TheNPC’s Captain Britain. Those who know him know he simultaneously supports and demolishes any stereotype most have about the land of tea and crumpets. Get him talking about games and he’ll go off into a tangent of “noob”s and “pwn”s. Get him mad (The word “America” usually does it), and witness an onslaught of those British insults you usually only see in Harry Potter books. His “humour” is also native to his homeland, so you’ll either be rolling in laughter or scratching your head in confusion during most of his articles. He also thinks checkpoints and lives in games are “archaic punishment tools” so take that how you wish…

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Spencer Lambert (CUBApete) - WriterSpencer makes up exactly one-third of TheNPCs America Squad, consisting of him, Zack, and Jaleel. He has the ability to conjure “lulz” out of any scenario and situation, so when combined with the random insanity of Jaleel and hilarious venom of Zack, an unstoppable beast forms that consumes everything in it’s path. Perhaps the most down to earth of the dysfunctional staff, he is a Preview specialist. Spencer can finish a preview before you can say “Damn, that was fast Spence”, thus he’s one of the most reliable on the crew. He does have this odd underlying vendetta with High School Musical, however, but we don’t dare ask where that came from.

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Jaleel Boone (Zain) - US Editor Three words: Token black guy. That’s really all you need to know. He speaks vaguely of “the hood” despite being from North Carolina. He’s authorized to use words like “homie”, “bling”, and anything ending in “izzle”. He intimidates people from other sites for no good reason. He latches onto fellow TBGs in games like the guy with the scythe in Soul Calibur III or the raging stereotypes that are Barrett from FF7 or the immortal Cole Train. Does the most work and gets minimal credit. Typical TBG stuff. I don’t think any site can do without one.

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Rob Turner (T, CanaryRob) - Graphic Artist I am not worthy to write the sermon of T. All you need to know is that He makes the site’s pretty colors, and that He is T. With this knowledge bow when He enters a room, pray that He will bestow his presence upon thee, and if you’re fortunate, he’ll make you a prophet and you can write his gospel. When beginning a new article it is NPC policy to consider WWTD, or “What Would T Do.” Follow this philosphy and only good fortune and fertile virgins will come your way.

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Kevin Prince - Business Manager
Kevin does all of the boring things with the site so we don’t have to! Tags on the main page not working? Server catch on fire? Chris and Zack in a heated debate again? Mr. Prince is your renaissance man of the Internets. He also likes meetings. Like, meetings about the last post-meeting email which discussed possible future meetings. He also got to goof around at E3 for free. Well he did pay to get there with his own money and all, but he spent his time playing games workfree and eyeing Olivia Munn, so I think it’s a fair tradeoff. There’s only so much fun we can pick at Kevo though, because this site is what it is mostly because of his sweat and tears. He is an avid Mac user though, so we have the right to question his business decisions at times.

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Matt Musto (Kyto) - US Editor-in-ChiefThe Ninja. He poofs in and out without warning. Some of the staff don’t even know what he looks like. In fact, I’m not even sure how much I’m allowed to tell you. But I can tell you that… hey, Matt. I was just telling them about yo- what’s the sword for? Hey man, watch that thing. WOAH! DAMN, SLOW YOUR ROLL. LET ME AT LEAST FINISH TYP