
By: A Name

By: A Name

By: A Name

That headline is the only joke I could muster here. Enjoy it.
“Anti-Semetic Joystiq Regime Silences Descendent Of Holocaust Survivors”
The brutal Joystiq comment mods have gone too far this time. Tonight at 9:38 pm I, a Jew who had countless relatives die at the hands of Nazism in the Holocaust, made a comment on a post at Joystiq that cast Germans in an unfavorable light. An hour later my comment had been brutally erased from existence by the anti-semites at Joystiq.
This injustice should not be allowed to stand. Such silencing of the Jewish people was one of the first steps the Nazis took on the road to mass murder, and if we forget that we allow it to happen again.
Rise up and tell Joystiq that their reprehensible actions will not be tolerated by society as it was 70 years ago. There is no room for such intolerance in our modern world.
Biocock for my 360 and the best game of all-time on Virtual Console? yesplz
PC:
BioShock (08/21)
Two Worlds (08/21)
Destination: Treasure Island (08/21)
PS2:
Brunswick Pro Bowling (08/21)
DS:
Brain Age 2: More Training in Minutes a Day (08/20)
Settlers, The (08/21)
Turn it Around (08/21)
PSP:
Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter 2 (08/21)
Brunswick Pro Bowling (08/21)
Jeanne D’Arc (08/21)
Dragoneer’s Aria (08/21)
XBOX360:
BioShock (08/21)
Two Worlds (08/21)
PS3:
Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter 2 (08/21)
Wii:
Brunswick Pro Bowling (08/21)
Virtual Console
Super Metroid (SNES - 800)
Shinobi III: Return of Ninja Master (SEGA - 800)
Neutopia (TurboGrafx - 600)
Jack Thompson has decided now is as good as time as any to crawl out of the woodwork again for another game bashing, and with the upcoming failed utopia-themed Bioshock, he just couldn’t resist trying to lay the Smackdown. Imagine the scene, JT was sitting down with his dinner at 8PM last Friday to watch another timeless rendition of WWE Smackdown.
Then, he was horrified to witness a televised advert for the game, proclaiming how “Take-Two are aggressively marketing the game to kids under 17 years of age” in an official complaint to the FTC. While we can see where he’s coming from, nearly every advert can be accused of marketing to a different demographic in this manner, so his argument becomes void. Needless to say, Thompson is keeping up his impressive form even though GTA IV is delayed until next year, as well as keeping his somewhat lacklustre pressure on Take-Two. Moreover, he has single-handily shown his homosexual tendencies in the form of watching greased up men fight for pure pantomime, which is just wonderful all things considered.
You think you’re a Halo nerd, huh? I bet you think you’re the biggest fan there is with
your Legendary Edition pre-order and hype train building and whatnot. But Halo themed Game Fuel and Doritos flavoring laced hands be damned. A real Halo nerd will make sure to purchase this one.
If you were a true hardcore Halo nerd you’d wield two $120 replica Covenant Plasma Rifles, complete with “lights, sounds, vibrations, recoiling and pausing!”, whilst prancing around in your homemade Spartan armor and make a general ass out of yourself. HotTopic is now taking pre-orders for their limited edition plasma pistol ($70) and rifle replicas made of what the description calls glossy rubber and plastic. So you think you’ve given Bungie enough of you rmoney? HotTopic thinks otherwise, you sad psuedo-nerd.
Finish the Hype.

STD jokes and prods at his attempt to become the white Flava Flav aside, Bret Michaels really is giving us something. His will be one of the corpses of a career dug up and put on the virtual stage as a “boss” in Guitar Hero III.
In addition we’re getting Poison’s Talk Dirty To Me, as well as one of his (god help us) solo efforts as playable tracks.
Seriously, Slash is ok but Mr. Every Rose Has It’s Thorn? He’s a legend of rock? Who’s next? The 3rd lead singer of Van Halen? An American Idol finalist? One of the dipshits from Tenacious D? Where does it end?
You’re pushing it Neversoft. Rock and Roll is a vengeful patron. You have been warned!
Say what you will about the price or the music or the presentation, but I feel
dirty playing this game. I feel used like a cheap ho, and I just rented it. The people who bought it are probably on the street right now having lost all confidence in their ability to contribute anything positive to society. All that aside the truth here is this game is a quickie cash in from Harmonix before they ditch Activision and the series to finish Rock Band. It’s an expansion pack that costs as much as the full game and provides much less. Yes it’s less everything: less songs, less characters, less unlockables, and a slimy neon 80’s veneer that’s slopped onto the same guitarists and venues from GH II.
Despite the ripoff this is an OK Guitar Hero game. The songs are mostly good and bring the variety we’ve come to expect. The biggest problem is all this 80’s pop-rock isn’t good for my well-cultivated 90’s cynicism, and I don’t want to be that happy dammit, but that’s another story.
This game should teach you something about yourself. If you can stay away or be satisfied with a long rental, good for you. You’re a smart consumer who knows when you’re getting boned. If you buy it well, maybe you’d be happier on the streets promising to love someone long time.
Let’s not make this a regular practice Activision.
7/10
This week marks Maddenoliday in the America, the day when a large majority of the population piss off their wives and families by becoming immersed in NFL gaming on their various systems. Sales confirmed. Other games to note include the RPG known as Persona 3, the Virtual Console’s addition of old school Metroid, and the DS’s nice line-up with Rune Factory and Heroes of Mana. I can’t believe I forgot Rune Factory was coming out so soon…
PC:
Madden NFL 08 (08/14)
Xbox:
Madden NFL 08 (08/14)
Gamecube:
Madden NFL 08 (08/14)
PS2:
Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 (08/14)
Madden NFL 08 (08/14)
Metropolismania 2 (08/14)
DS:
Luminous Arc (08/14)
Rune Factory: Fantasy Harvest Moon (08/14)
Madden NFL 08 (08/14)
Heroes of Mana (08/14)
Operation: Vietnam (08/14)
PSP:
Madden NFL 08 (08/14)
Dungeons & Dragons Tactics (08/14)
360:
Madden NFL 08 (08/14)
PS3:
Madden NFL 08 (08/14)
Wii:
Madden NFL 08 (08/14)
Virtual Console
Metroid (NES - 500)
Shining in the Darkness (Sega Genesis - 800)
Cratermaze (Turbografx16 - 600)
It’s a little after 9:45 EST, and Game Head’s Geoff Keighley has just announced that a
demo for Bioshock has gone Live. Good thing too. I was on the brink of busting into a Gamestop and fulfilling my pre-order a few days early.
The announcement came after the new 60 second Bioshock launch trailer shown during some crappy program on SpikeTV. Stop reading and go download it already. If you’re lucky, you’ll have it done before the intertubes get clogged.
Yeah, it’s about a day old. “But itz halo guys so who carez lol.”

IGN recently announced Bungie’s addition of the flamethrower from Halo Combat Evolved on the PC to Halo 3. The above screenshot is from Halo CE, proving that Bungie can simultaneously reveal a cliche weapon and a weapon from their old game and nerds will still find a way to go apeshit about it.
I’m as excited as everyone else, but part of me can’t wait until this is over.

